Reclaiming Your Identity from OCD: Who Are You Without the Compulsions?
OCD can feel like it hijacks your personality. Over time, the rituals and fears can take up so much mental space that it’s hard to remember who you were before OCD became loud.
The Identity Impact of OCD
Many people report feeling:
Lost or disconnected from their sense of self
Afraid of who they might be without OCD to "keep them in check"
Unsure what their values, preferences, or passions are
This is especially common for people who have lived with OCD for many years. The compulsions become part of daily life, part of routines, part of how they relate to the world.
What Recovery Makes Room For
As OCD symptoms begin to decrease through ERP and other therapeutic work, space opens up for something new: you. Without the need to perform rituals or obey intrusive thoughts, people often rediscover forgotten interests, new goals, and deeper relationships.
Healing the Relationship with Yourself
Explore values-based living: What matters to you underneath the fear? This is a core part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), often used alongside ERP.
Practice self-compassion: You are more than your thoughts. You are more than your symptoms.
Let go of the OCD identity: It doesn’t define you. It never did.
There is life after OCD. And it includes the real you—the one who has always been there, waiting to be seen.
OCD and the Fear of Making the Wrong Decision: Understanding Indecisiveness and Moral Scrupulosity
OCD can target anything—and that includes decision-making. For some people, even the smallest choice feels loaded with anxiety. What if I make the wrong call? What if I hurt someone? What if this says something terrible about who I am?
This form of OCD often shows up as:
Decision paralysis over everyday choices (what to eat, what to wear)
Moral scrupulosity, or intense anxiety over being a “good” person or making the ethically right decision
Endless rumination about past choices
Seeking reassurance from others about whether a choice was "right"
Why It Happens
At its core, OCD is about intolerance of uncertainty. Decisions are full of unknowns. The compulsive need to be 100% sure can keep someone stuck, afraid to move forward.
How ERP Can Help
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) helps individuals confront the fear of making a mistake and resist the urge to overanalyze or seek reassurance. Over time, ERP helps build confidence in one’s ability to tolerate uncertainty and live with the normal discomfort of decision-making.
You Are Not Alone
If this is you, know that you’re not broken or overdramatic. You’re not a bad person for wanting to get it "just right." With the right support, you can start making decisions with greater ease—and with less fear.
The Role of Family Accommodation in OCD: When Helping Hurts
Living with OCD is hard. Watching someone you love struggle with it can be just as painful. It’s natural for family members to want to help—to ease the anxiety, stop the rituals, and offer constant reassurance. But sometimes, what feels like help is actually making things worse. This pattern is called family accommodation, and it's a common barrier to OCD recovery.
What is Family Accommodation?
Family accommodation refers to any behavior from a loved one that enables or participates in the person’s OCD rituals. This can include:
Answering repeated reassurance questions
Avoiding triggering topics or places
Participating in rituals
Helping the person avoid distress or discomfort
While these actions may reduce conflict in the short term, they reinforce the idea that the person needs their compulsions to feel safe.
Why It Feels Helpful (But Isn’t)
Family members are often motivated by love and fear. Watching someone spiral with anxiety is agonizing, and it’s tempting to do whatever it takes to make them feel better. But accommodating OCD prevents the person from learning that anxiety is tolerable and that compulsions aren’t necessary.
What You Can Do Instead
Learn about ERP: Exposure and Response Prevention is the gold standard treatment. Understanding its goals can help you support your loved one’s treatment.
Set boundaries with compassion: Say things like, “I know this is hard, but I’m working on not giving reassurance so you can get stronger.”
Work with a therapist: Many OCD therapists involve family members in the process, helping everyone learn how to respond in helpful, growth-oriented ways.
OCD impacts the whole family. Healing does too.
Perinatal and Postpartum OCD: When Intrusive Thoughts Collide with New Parenthood
The perinatal period—during pregnancy and after childbirth—is often described as a time of joy, bonding, and transformation. But for many new parents, it's also a time of immense stress and unexpected mental health challenges. One lesser-known yet deeply distressing condition that can arise during this time is Perinatal or Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
If you're experiencing distressing, intrusive thoughts or overwhelming fears about harm coming to your baby—and if you find yourself engaging in mental or physical rituals to "prevent" those fears from coming true—you are not alone. And importantly: you are not dangerous.
What Is Perinatal/Postpartum OCD?
Perinatal or Postpartum OCD is a subtype of OCD that emerges during pregnancy or after childbirth. It involves intrusive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) aimed at reducing anxiety. These thoughts are often violent, sexual, or morally disturbing in nature—and they are ego-dystonic, meaning they are completely out of alignment with the person's values and desires.
Common Symptoms May Include:
Disturbing images or thoughts of harming your baby
Excessive fears about contamination or illness
Avoidance of caring for the baby to prevent feared outcomes
Repeatedly checking to ensure the baby is breathing
Mental reviewing or praying to "undo" a bad thought
These symptoms can feel terrifying, especially when they conflict with the societal image of the "joyful new parent."
How Perinatal OCD Differs from Postpartum Depression
While postpartum depression often involves persistent sadness, disconnection, or lack of energy, postpartum OCD centers around fear. The person is not indifferent to their baby—they are often terrified of hurting or failing them, even when they have no desire to do so. This distinction is crucial, both for diagnosis and for choosing the appropriate treatment.
Why ERP Works
The gold-standard treatment for OCD—including perinatal OCD—is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). ERP helps individuals face their intrusive thoughts without performing rituals or avoidance behaviors. Over time, this reduces the power those thoughts hold and increases tolerance for uncertainty.
Examples of ERP for Perinatal OCD might include:
Looking at the baby without checking their breathing repeatedly
Practicing holding the baby without mentally reviewing safety steps
Writing down intrusive thoughts without engaging in mental rituals to "cancel" them
ERP is often combined with psychoeducation and, in some cases, medication such as SSRIs that are safe during the perinatal period.
Compassion Is Key
If you're experiencing these symptoms, know this: You are not broken. You're not a "bad parent." You are dealing with a treatable mental health condition that affects many people during this vulnerable time.
OCD latches onto what we care about most. For new parents, that's often their child. Intrusive thoughts do not reflect your intentions, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not risk.
With proper treatment, healing is possible. You can bond with your baby and reclaim peace of mind.
When Talking Feels Dangerous: Understanding Selective Mutism and Speech Avoidance
Selective Mutism (SM) is often misunderstood as simply "shyness," but in reality, it is a complex anxiety disorder that significantly impacts a person's ability to speak in certain situations. It often begins in early childhood, but can persist into adolescence and adulthood, especially if left untreated.
For individuals with SM, talking isn’t just uncomfortable—it can feel dangerous. They may want to speak but find themselves physically unable to. This internal struggle can create shame, social isolation, and serious disruption in education, work, and relationships.
What Is Selective Mutism?
Selective Mutism is characterized by a consistent failure to speak in specific social settings where there is an expectation to speak (such as school), despite speaking comfortably in other situations (like at home).
Common features include:
Speaking freely at home but remaining silent in public settings
Physical symptoms like freezing, blushing, or tensing up when asked to speak
Use of gestures, nodding, or other nonverbal communication instead of speech
Fear of being judged, making mistakes, or drawing attention
Selective Mutism is not a willful refusal to talk—it's an anxiety response rooted in fear.
The Cycle of Anxiety and Silence
Triggering Situation: Being asked a question in class or meeting new people
Anxiety Spike: Intense fear of speaking or making a mistake
Avoidance or Freezing: The person may remain silent, use nonverbal cues, or rely on someone else to speak for them
Temporary Relief: Avoiding speech reduces immediate anxiety, but reinforces the belief that speaking is unsafe
Over time, this avoidance becomes a deeply ingrained coping mechanism.
How Is Selective Mutism Treated?
The most effective approach to treating SM is exposure-based therapy, particularly when guided by a trained clinician familiar with anxiety and communication challenges.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), often used for OCD, can be adapted for SM. Treatment may involve:
Starting with low-stress speaking opportunities and gradually increasing challenge
Practicing speech with familiar people in safe settings before moving into more public environments
Using tools like "brave talking goals" and confidence ladders
Including parents, teachers, or caregivers as part of the support plan
Progress can be slow, but with consistent, compassionate intervention, individuals with SM can learn to speak more freely across environments.
Moving Toward Communication and Confidence
Selective Mutism can feel isolating and frustrating for both the individual and their loved ones. But with the right understanding and supports in place, real change is possible. Each small step toward speaking is a step toward freedom—and a future where communication no longer feels threatening, but empowering.
Understanding Selective Mutism and Its Connection to OCD
Selective Mutism (SM) is an anxiety disorder that affects a person’s ability to speak in certain social situations despite being able to communicate freely in others. While commonly diagnosed in childhood, SM can persist into adolescence and adulthood, impacting education, work, and social relationships. What many people don’t realize is that Selective Mutism often coexists with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), leading to unique challenges in treatment and daily life.
The Link Between Selective Mutism and OCD
Both Selective Mutism and OCD are rooted in anxiety, and they can reinforce one another in different ways. Individuals with SM often experience extreme fear and distress when expected to speak in unfamiliar settings, while those with OCD may develop compulsive rituals or avoidance behaviors to manage their anxiety.
Some overlapping features include:
Fear of Judgment: People with SM may fear making a mistake or drawing attention to themselves, similar to how OCD can involve an intense fear of doing something “wrong.”
Avoidance Behaviors: Both disorders involve avoidance—whether avoiding speaking altogether (SM) or avoiding certain situations due to obsessive fears (OCD).
Ritualistic Behaviors: Some individuals with SM develop rituals to manage their anxiety, such as only speaking in whispers or only responding in certain situations, which can resemble OCD compulsions.
The Cycle of Anxiety and Silence
Trigger: The person is in a situation where speaking is expected (e.g., classroom, workplace, social gathering).
Anxiety Surge: Thoughts like “What if I say something wrong?” or “What if they judge me?” cause distress.
Avoidance or Rituals: Instead of speaking, the person may remain silent, use gestures, or rely on a trusted person to communicate for them.
Temporary Relief: Avoiding speech reduces immediate anxiety, reinforcing the behavior and making future speaking attempts even harder.
Treatment Approaches: ERP and Gradual Exposure
For both Selective Mutism and OCD, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) can be highly effective. The goal is to gradually expose the individual to anxiety-inducing situations while resisting avoidance behaviors.
Steps in Exposure Therapy for Selective Mutism:
Start Small: Begin with speaking in comfortable, low-pressure situations.
Increase Exposure: Gradually introduce more challenging speaking scenarios, such as answering a question in class or ordering food at a restaurant.
Resist Avoidance: Instead of relying on gestures or writing, encourage verbal responses, even if brief.
Practice Tolerating Anxiety: Accept that discomfort is temporary and that avoidance reinforces the fear.
For individuals with both SM and OCD, a combined approach that addresses both speech-related fears and obsessive-compulsive patterns can be most effective.
Moving Forward
Selective Mutism and OCD can make daily interactions overwhelming, but with the right treatment, progress is possible. Therapy that incorporates ERP, cognitive restructuring, and gradual exposure can help individuals build confidence in their ability to communicate. With patience and persistence, speaking can become easier, and anxiety can loosen its grip over time.
When Health Anxiety and OCD Overlap: Understanding the Cycle and Finding Relief
Health is important—but when concerns about illness turn into constant fear, worry, and compulsive checking, it can become overwhelming. Health Anxiety, also known as Illness Anxiety Disorder (IAD), and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often overlap, creating a relentless cycle of fear and reassurance-seeking that can significantly impact daily life.
If you find yourself fixated on physical sensations, seeking excessive medical reassurance, or spending hours researching symptoms online, you may be caught in this cycle. The good news? There is a way out.
The Connection Between Health Anxiety and OCD
Health Anxiety and OCD share many similarities. Both involve intrusive thoughts, high levels of anxiety, and compulsive behaviors aimed at reducing distress. However, the key distinction is in the focus of the fear:
Health Anxiety: Fear centers around having or developing a serious illness. Even after medical reassurance, anxiety often returns.
OCD: While OCD can involve many themes, when it manifests as health-related OCD, the fear often focuses on uncertainty—worrying that an undetected illness could go unnoticed or that one must perform certain rituals to prevent harm.
The Cycle of Health Anxiety and OCD
Intrusive Thoughts: “What if I have cancer?” “Is this headache a sign of something serious?”
Anxiety Spike: The thought triggers distress and uncertainty.
Compulsive Checking or Seeking Reassurance: Googling symptoms, checking vitals repeatedly, or seeking validation from doctors, friends, or family.
Temporary Relief: Reassurance provides short-lived comfort, but the anxiety soon returns, leading to another cycle.
Breaking Free with ERP
The most effective treatment for OCD and health anxiety is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). ERP involves gradually exposing yourself to feared thoughts and uncertainties while resisting compulsive behaviors.
Examples of ERP for Health Anxiety:
Limiting symptom checking: Resisting the urge to examine a mole multiple times a day or measure your pulse repeatedly.
Reducing reassurance-seeking: Delaying or eliminating unnecessary doctor visits or asking loved ones for reassurance.
Exposure to uncertainty: Writing out feared health scenarios and sitting with the discomfort without seeking relief.
Over time, ERP helps retrain the brain to tolerate uncertainty and reduces the power of obsessive health fears.
Finding Support and Healing
Recovering from health anxiety and OCD takes patience, but you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy, structured ERP work, and professional guidance can provide the tools needed to break free from the cycle of fear. Learning to accept uncertainty and reframe anxious thoughts is a process, but with the right approach, relief is possible.
The Power of Support: Why OCD Support Groups Matter
Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be isolating. The intrusive thoughts, the compulsions, and the cycle of anxiety can feel like an endless loop that others just don’t understand. Even with evidence-based treatment like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), the process can be challenging, and it’s easy to feel alone in the struggle.
That’s where support groups come in. While individual therapy plays a crucial role in treatment, support groups provide something unique: connection, shared understanding, and a community that reminds you—you are not alone.
Why OCD Support Groups Are So Valuable
1. Shared Understanding and Validation One of the hardest parts of OCD is feeling like no one truly “gets it.” In a support group, you’re surrounded by people who understand what it’s like to experience intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and the emotional toll of OCD. There’s power in knowing that others have walked a similar path and are facing the same challenges.
2. Motivation for ERP ERP is the gold standard for OCD treatment, but let’s be honest—it’s tough. Facing fears, resisting compulsions, and sitting with discomfort is difficult work. In a support group, you can hear from others who are also practicing ERP, get encouragement, and even share strategies for making exposures more manageable. Having a group to celebrate wins with (no matter how small) can make all the difference in staying committed to treatment.
3. Reducing Isolation OCD has a way of making people withdraw from others. Whether it’s due to shame, fear of judgment, or just feeling different, many people with OCD struggle with isolation. Support groups provide a space where you can be fully yourself—without fear of being misunderstood or judged. That sense of belonging can be incredibly healing.
4. Learning from Others OCD presents differently for everyone. While one person may struggle with contamination fears, another may battle harm obsessions or relationship OCD. In a group setting, you get to hear how others navigate their OCD, which can provide new insights, coping tools, and inspiration for your own journey.
5. Normalizing the OCD Experience OCD can make you believe that your thoughts are uniquely bad or disturbing. Being in a group where others openly discuss their intrusive thoughts can help break down the stigma and self-judgment. You start to realize: I am not my thoughts. My thoughts do not define me.
Finding the Right Support Group
If you or a loved one is living with OCD, joining a support group can be a game-changer. Whether in-person or virtual, these groups provide encouragement, accountability, and a sense of hope.
At Dear Therapy, I offer a free online OCD support group where individuals can come together in a safe, supportive space to share experiences, discuss ERP progress, and find community. If you’re looking for a place where you can connect with others on a similar journey, I invite you to join us.
👉 Learn more and sign up here: Dear Therapy Support Groups
You don’t have to navigate OCD alone. Support is out there, and you deserve it.
SPACE Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions
It all begins with an idea.
SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is an innovative approach designed to help parents support their children who experience anxiety. At Dear Therapy in Atlanta, we specialize in SPACE therapy to empower parents and children to navigate anxiety together effectively.
What Is SPACE Supportive Parenting?
SPACE therapy focuses on providing parents with the tools and strategies to support their child's emotional well-being and manage anxiety effectively. This approach emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive and nurturing environment while gently encouraging children to face their fears.
How SPACE Supportive Parenting Works
Empathy and Validation: Parents are taught to empathize with their child's feelings and validate their experiences. This helps children feel understood and accepted, reducing feelings of shame or inadequacy associated with anxiety.
Encouraging Independence: SPACE therapy encourages parents to gradually encourage their child to face their fears and take small steps towards independence. This may involve gradually exposing the child to anxiety-provoking situations while providing reassurance and support.
Reducing Accommodation: Parents are guided to reduce accommodation behaviors that inadvertently reinforce anxiety. This may include avoiding situations that trigger anxiety, providing excessive reassurance, or enabling avoidance behaviors.
Modeling Coping Strategies: Parents learn to model healthy coping strategies and problem-solving skills for their children. By demonstrating resilience and adaptive coping mechanisms, parents can empower their children to manage anxiety more effectively.
Building Resilience: SPACE therapy focuses on building resilience and fostering a sense of competence and self-efficacy in children. This involves praising effort and persistence rather than just outcomes, promoting a growth mindset and resilience in the face of challenges.
Benefits of SPACE Supportive Parenting
SPACE therapy has been shown to have numerous benefits for children with anxiety, including:
Increased Independence: Children learn to face their fears and develop greater independence in managing anxiety-provoking situations.
Improved Self-Esteem: By providing validation and support, parents help boost their child's self-esteem and confidence.
Reduced Anxiety Symptoms: SPACE therapy can lead to a reduction in anxiety symptoms and improved overall emotional well-being.
Stronger Parent-Child Relationships: By fostering open communication and empathy, SPACE therapy strengthens the bond between parents and children.
Success Stories at Dear Therapy
At Dear Therapy, we have witnessed remarkable transformations in families who have undergone SPACE therapy. Parents report feeling more equipped to support their children's emotional needs, while children show increased confidence and resilience in managing anxiety-provoking situations.
Why Choose Dear Therapy in Atlanta?
Dear Therapy offers personalized and compassionate support for families dealing with childhood anxiety. Our therapists are trained in evidence-based approaches like SPACE therapy and are dedicated to helping families thrive.
Final Thoughts
SPACE Supportive Parenting offers a holistic approach to managing childhood anxiety, empowering parents and children to navigate anxiety together effectively. If you're looking for support in helping your child manage anxiety, consider reaching out to Dear Therapy in Atlanta. We're here to help you and your family thrive.
Battling Morning Anxiety: A Guide to Understanding and Managing Your OCD and Anxiety
It all begins with an idea.
Like many of our clients (you know who you are), you might find yourself waking up each morning feeling both exhausted and highly anxious. This perplexing mix of emotions often leads to the question: "How can I be so tired yet so anxious at the same time?"
The answer lies in something known as Morning Anxiety.
The Anxious Morning Mind
Wide awake but feeling wired, anxious, and tired
Negative thoughts flood your mind
Worrying about what the day will bring
Morning anxiety is unfortunately a common experience. Conversations with family and friends, stories from clients, and numerous articles titled “Early Morning Anxiety” and “Morning Panic” confirm this phenomenon. Several factors may contribute to this, and understanding them can help manage the anxiety better.
Stress Hormones and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
If morning anxiety is your daily companion, you might be dealing with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or experiencing what researchers call The Cortisol Awakening Response (CAR). Cortisol, known as the “stress hormone,” is released by the adrenal glands in response to stress or fear. Studies show that cortisol levels peak during the first hour of waking in individuals with heightened anxiety, explaining the surge of morning anxiety.
As soon as you wake up, your body might already be in ‘fight or flight’ mode, dreading another anxiety-filled day. This triggers negative thoughts even before the day starts, creating a cycle of early morning dread. Additionally, the late night and early morning naturally see a rise in cortisol and blood pressure as the body prepares for a new day.
Stressful Life Events Triggering OCD and Anxiety
Various stressors can trigger morning anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including:
Changes in living arrangements
Health issues
Employment changes
Financial stress
Separation from loved ones
The ongoing impact of COVID-19
Genetics and Diet Influencing Anxiety and OCD Symptoms
A genetic predisposition to stress and anxiety makes some individuals more prone to morning anxiety and OCD. Chronic health conditions can also contribute, including:
Diabetes
Heart disease
Hypertension
Asthma
Psoriasis
Depression
Cancer
Diet plays a crucial role too. Skipping meals, eating late, and consuming excessive alcohol, sugar, caffeine, or processed foods can strain digestion, disrupt sleep, and cause blood sugar fluctuations. These factors can exacerbate anxiety symptoms, creating nervous tension and unfamiliar body sensations, and leading to low moods.
Strategies to Combat Morning Anxiety and Manage OCD
Improve Sleep Hygiene
Avoid late nights, overly stimulating activities, and too many screens in your bedroom.
Ensure your sleeping environment is dark and at a comfortable temperature.
Shift Your Focus
Don’t dwell on the fear of morning anxiety. Read something positive or try guided meditation before bed and upon waking.
Get Moving
Physical activity is crucial. Exercise for at least 30-45 minutes, five days a week.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Resist the urge to stay in bed with your negative thoughts. Challenge them and focus on what you can control. Keep a journal by your bed and write down things you are grateful for or looking forward to.
Engage Your Mind
Deep breathing exercises can shift focus from anxiety to your body. Start your day with a task, podcast, or music. Vary your routine to break the cycle.
Practice Self-Compassion
Develop a self-care toolkit. A relaxing bath or shower before bed can help.
Mind Your Diet
Avoid eating and drinking too much after 8 pm, especially foods and drinks high in sugar or alcohol.
Accept and Plan Your Worries
If morning anxiety persists, try “planned worrying.” Allocate 10 minutes to experience worry feelings, then move on to self-care strategies. While it’s not a perfect solution, this method acknowledges your worries and provides a structured way to move past them.
Morning anxiety and OCD can be incredibly uncomfortable and overwhelming, but they are treatable. Combining professional treatment with these self-care strategies can bring relief from anxiety and OCD symptoms, helping you wake up feeling hopeful and calm.